Friday, May 1, 2015

3 Poems with Revisions

Nature Walk- Tanka:
  • Along the worn trail,
          The echoing chirp of bugs,
          Relaxes my mind,
          And as I close my soft eyes,
          My painful struggles leave me.
Nature Walk- Tanka REVISED:
  • Along the worn trail,
          The deep chirps of cicadas,
          Relaxes my mind,
          And as I close my soft eyes,
          My harsh struggles soar skyward.
Rhyme- Memories:
He used to tell me all about the old times,
The days where we would spend trying to find a nice tree to climb,
In times when we could actually have a conversation,
We could accomplish anything with our imagination.
Suddenly, creating new games with friends outside,
Turned into days we would run into our rooms and just hide.
           
Now, no one is social enough to have a talk,
Or even just go outside for a walk.
We spend all of our hours behind computer screens,
Watching videos, texting friends, and shopping for jeans.
All of our lives revolve around the internet,
And no one even remembers the days we had to use a cassette.
“My dear, dear child” he always said,
“Sit right here, and don’t you fled,
Remember these words I speak,
Even though I may just seem like an antique,
After my many years of living and viewing,
Listen closely, for I know very well what I am doing.”
           
Take some time to get off your phone,
Enjoy your friends, and never waste time alone.
Live your life to the best you possibly can,
And I promise you, you will be a very wise man.
           


Rhyme- Memories REVISED:
He used to tell me all about the old times,
The days we would spend trying to find a satisfying tree to climb,
In times when we could hold a conversation,
We could accomplish anything with our imagination.
Suddenly, creating new games with friends outside,
Turned into days we go to our rooms like a turtle and hide.
           
Now, no one is social enough to have a talk,
Or even just go outside for a walk.
We spend all of our hours behind computer screens,
Watching videos, texting friends, and shopping for jeans.
All of our lives revolve around the internet,
And no one even remembers the days we had to use a cassette.
“My dear, dear child” he would always say,
“Sit right here, and stop wasting every day.
Remember these words I speak,
Even though I may just seem like an antique,
After my many years of living and viewing,
Listen closely, for I know very well what I am doing.”
           
Take some time to get off your phone,
Enjoy your friends, and never waste time alone.
Live your life to the best you possibly can,
And I promise you, you will be a very, very wise man.”         


Free Verse- Tragic Love:
It was a beautiful day when the two first met
He was beautiful, she was depressed
Somehow they fit together like puzzle pieces
they fell in faster than she fell out
His blood fell like teardrops into the porcelain sink
And down the drain without a flinch
He never felt so alive, and so alone.


Free Verse- Tragic Love REVISED:
It was an unforgettable summer day when the two first met.
She was beautiful, he was depressed.
Somehow they fit together like puzzle pieces,
Then suddenly, she moved on to a new picture.
His blood fell like teardrops into the porcelain sink,
And down the drain without a flinch.
He never felt so alive, and so alone.

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